Tempus Fugit
by JaneIsles
Summary: Mulder and Scully have an argument that leaves Scully feeling vulnerable but Mulder finds a way to soothe her. MULDER/SCULLY SMUT.


Scully's eyes traced the passing landscape while she quietly sat in the passenger seat, the last bits of sunshine fading as the day gave way to night and she thought that it had just been morning.

Where did the time go?

She had been asking herself that question over and over again recently, something she couldn't get out of her mind. She didn't know what had brought on that change of mind but it had been keeping her busy ever since.

Where did the time go?

How many things had she missed over the years without noticing that another year had passed and she still hadn't done all the things she had wanted to do. Every now and then she couldn't even answer that question, what was it that she wanted or missed? She didn't know but she couldn't help but feel that something was slipping through her fingers.

Maybe it was time, she thought while she looked out of the window.

She couldn't even bring herself to look at Mulder. Maybe it wasn't his fault at all; deep inside she knew that he wasn't the source of her anger and frustration. They were returning to their home after a nice dinner at their favorite restaurant but she hadn't been able to relax, there was something on her mind that she hadn't been able to silence and it had been bugging her throughout the course of their dinner. She had found herself angered by all the little things that he did or said, by the way Mulder had paid attention to her or not.

Scully didn't remember the last time they had actually had an argument and maybe this is what she was hoping for? Was she actually looking to pick a fight?

She hugged herself and looked at her hands, knowing that Mulder was quietly watching her, wondering what he had done. She knew she wasn't being fair because he had done absolutely nothing wrong but she was hurt nonetheless. More often she had been wondering what would happen if he met someone else.

What if he suddenly decided that she wasn't what he wanted any longer? She wasn't the twenty-four year old who had walked into his office half a lifetime ago, what if that wasn't enough anymore?

She had tried dating someone else in the brief time that they had been apart but nothing had ever been able to compare. She knew that she would never be happy with anyone but him and she wished that her mind wouldn't try to tell her that something was wrong.

She kept looking at her hands, quietly twisting the engagement ring and the faintest hint of a smile crossed her lips. She still remembered being so happy and nervous when she had realized that he was about to propose and how she had accepted something that she had been waiting for so long.

She tried to soothe her raging thoughts every time she touched the beautiful ring but maybe she just needed to be angry for a little while, maybe she had to let that anger go or take it out on Mulder for once.

The closer they got to the house the more frustrated she was with herself, remembering the way he had flirted with the waitress who had served them earlier. Normally she wouldn't be bothered, wouldn't even think about it but tonight it had hurt her for her very own reasons.

She was angry at him and herself and at the same time it felt childish and uncalled for; she was almost embarrassed, not wanting to tell him what upset her so much.

„Everything okay?" he asked after a little while. „You are quiet."

He knew that something was bugging her, he knew her long enough to know that something was upsetting her. During the last couple of minutes he had tried to figure out what he had done that could have brought on the change of mind but he always came up empty-handed.

„It's nothing," she said quietly, not wanting to be rude.

„Scully," he said softly, knowing that she was lying.

„I'm fine," she said and continued to ignore him for the rest of the drive. He sighed and turned his attention back to the road, giving her some time to make up her mind.

„Come on, don't do this to me," he said a couple of minutes later while he unlocked the front door and stepped inside the empty house. „Tell me what's wrong."

„Just talk to me," he tried again, close to begging her to tell him what he had done because not knowing drove him crazy. He wouldn't be able to sleep at night without knowing what the problem was.

„Just drop it," she said and kicked off her shoes, wanting to get away from him as soon as possible. She was getting to a point where it felt ridiculous and yet she couldn't stop feeling upset and insecure.

„Why don't you talk to that stupid waitress?" she snapped without looking at him and walked upstairs to get ready for bed.

Mulder pinched the back of his nose with two fingers, trying to take a deep breath. Something told him that it was something else and not just the way he had been friendly with their waitress earlier. He knew her long enough to know that it must be something else and he would give her a bit of time until she was ready to talk about it.

***

Scully stood in front of the mirror, silence surrounding her. She hadn't meant to snap at him like that, had hoped that her anger would have faded by the time they got home.

She stood in front of the mirror and sighed. She listened to the sound of her own breathing, the steady drum of her own heart echoing in her ears. She stared at her reflection, something that had never been a problem but why was she doubting herself now?

She didn't want to look at herself, afraid that she would find something that might not have been there before.

What was she expecting to find?

For a fleeting moment she remembered herself; the woman who stood in front of the mirror almost thirty years ago. It was the first night of working with Mulder, that strange case that had left her terrified and brought her into his arms for the first time with many more to follow.

Where did the time go? She wondered.

So much had changed since then and sometimes she thought she still remembered all of it as if it happened yesterday and no time had passed at all. She had lost track of time and herself and it scared the hell out of her.

Her fingertips brushed over the soft skin of her face and the marks that time had etched into her skin, lines of laughter and sorrow. She sighed and closed her eyes, thinking that she wasn't the same person she used to be and that scared her a lot.

How much longer would this last? Where would the end be?

One by one she unbuttoned her blouse, revealing her slender body. She had always considered herself beautiful in her very own way, had never doubted it when these words left Mulder's lips but every now and then it scared her to acknowledge that time was fleeting and she was getting older. She saw the freckles shining through her light makeup, wondering what beautiful actually meant.

What does it exclude or include? She couldn't tell. There were times in which she had hated her ginger hair and the way it made her stand out and sometimes she had loved it for the very same reason. She knew that she was in a place that made her feel beautiful and she loved being with Mulder and the way he made her feel; she always remembered that feeling and carried it within her heart.

She remembered what it felt like at this one moment, when she looked at her own reflection in the mirror. She stripped out of her clothes without so much as looking at herself and put her pajamas on, hoping that a little bit of sleep would soothe her raging mind.

She was sitting on the edge of the bed when Mulder entered the bedroom. He had meant to give her some space but decided that he couldn't go to sleep without knowing the truth. He waited beside her and a few seconds passed in which no one said a word before she broke the silence.

„Mulder, do you think I'm old?" she whispered, sounding almost sad.

She turned her head a little, only briefly looking at him. He'd lie saying that this question hadn't taken him by surprise because it was the last thing he had expected. He thought that it would have been nicer if she just yelled at him over something pointless.

„Scully," he said surprised and reached out for her.

He tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear and touched her chin with his hand, urging her to look at him.

„What happened? Where did that come from?" he gently asked.

She shrugged and got up from the bed, pacing the room in front of him. She looked lost somehow and he wanted to help her.

„I don't know," she said quietly. „I was just wondering… it's nothing. I'm sure it'll be better in the morning."

„Don't be silly," he said and reached for her hand, pulling her into his lap. „Come here," Mulder said and put one hand around her waist, the other cupped her cheek.

„Look at me," he said and she finally did.

He saw the hesitation in her eyes, the quiet sadness that had seized her because she allowed the insecurities to convince her that all these negative thoughts were true.

„I won't answer your question," he said softly. „I think you know the answer, Scully. I don't want anyone but you," he said and reached for the hand on which he had put the ring not too long ago. „I thought I had made that clear," he said and for the first time since they had left the restaurant he saw the faintest hint of a smile on her lips.

„That's better," he said and she buried her face in the crook of his neck, trying to hide the embarrassed smile and the soft blush in her cheeks.

„I'm sorry," she whispered and shook her head.

Mulder leaned back and cupped her face with both hands, their faces only inches apart.

„You are everything to me," Mulder whispered against her lips. „I don't want anyone else but you."

She closed the distance between them and kissed him once as if to reassure herself that he was still there, still felt the same way he always had. She needed him, needed to feel him breathe against her.

After all this time she suddenly felt needy, aching for him. She wanted to feel him, wanted Mulder inside of her and remember how it all was, how it always had been. She needed to fuck it all out and erase these terrible thoughts from her mind.

She wrapped her arms around him, parting her lips as if she was about to say something. He felt her hot breath puff against his lips, his own hands still cradling her cheeks, fingers brushing against the soft skin there. He waited, his lips tingling with the warmth emanating from her, her weight pressing down on him. She touched his lips only briefly, making sure he was still within reach before she kissed him, her tongue slipping between his teeth. He felt his trousers tighten a little in anticipation, reacting to the touches of her delicate body. He wanted to give her everything she needed, wanted to let her take control if that's what she wanted but more so than that she seemed to need reassurance.

He broke the kiss, claiming that soft spot behind her ear. He tasted the sweet skin, smelling the last traces of her perfume. She tilted her head a little, giving him better access. She sighed, her hands finding its way into his hair. She grabbed it with both hands, keeping him close. Scully pressed their bodies together, every last bit of distance vanishing as their bodies crushed against each other. He pressed his mouth against her tender skin, tasting while he sucked a little and it drew the softest moans from her lips.

Slowly his hands wandered beneath her shirt, his fingertips brushing against the soft underside of her breasts. He wanted to feel her, wanted all of it but the position they found themselves in wouldn't work in their favor for very long and the weight of her crotch brushing against his growing erection started to feel a little uncomfortable.

Mulder wrapped his arms around her and pushed them off the bed before he turned around, gently lowering her onto the bed. She looked up at him and he leaned down to kiss her, lingering a little before he abandoned her lips. Slowly he pushed her shirt up, revealing the soft cream-colored skin that he had kissed so many times before. Without taking his lips off her tummy his hands moved to her breasts, still covered by the soft fabric of her pj's, aching to feel the heavy weight in his palms.

He felt her nipples harden under his touch, her body gently arching against him. She was quiet, her eyes closed and her brows furrowed in concentration. She was still thinking too much, still too worried and he was determined to make all these thoughts go away.

Mulder moved up until his lips reached the soft swell of her breasts, pushing the shirt out of the way and lifted it above her head; she didn't say a word, she just looked at him and waited quietly.

He tilted his head down, taking one nipple between his teeth while his free hand massaged her left breast and she released a breathy sigh. Scully parted her legs, still wearing her pj pants, giving him better access to her wanting body. Scully felt his weight on her and it seemed to soothe her somehow; the weight of his body gently pressed her into the mattress and she felt his erection brush against her center, already wet and swollen.

She concentrated on his hands and the gentle touch of his mouth, the soft strokes of his tongue against her skin and it made clit ache with need. She brought her hands back to his hair when he turned his attention to the other breast, slowly repeating his administrations while she arched into the contact.

He kissed every inch of her body until she squirmed beneath him, her skin flushing with the increasing arousal. He ignored his almost painful erection, considering to pause just to kick off his trousers but he couldn't tear himself away from her just yet. His mouth moved lower until he reach the hem of her pants pulling them down with both hands, making quick work of her panties at the same time. She parted her legs a little wider, inviting him in and soon his nose was buried in the soft curls and he looked up once, her eyes lightly closed again while she waited for the touch of his tongue to relieve some of the tension inside of her.

Mulder brushed his lips against her swollen clit, drawing the softest whimper from her. He curled his arms under her thighs, bringing them together at the center to hold her still. Slowly he started lapping at her slick folds, spreading the evidence of her arousal with the tip of his tongue. He teased her clit, running his tongue from top to bottom before he moved it to her entrance, slowly fucking her with his tongue.

„Ungh," she huffed and bit her lip, her heels digging into the mattress while she tried to hold still.

He uncurled one of his arms from her thighs and dipped two fingers into her, slowly exploring her tight walls. He moved his fingers slow at first before his mouth reclaimed her aching clit, sucking the bundle of nerves a little rougher this time.

He blindly found the soft spot inside of her, curling his fingers until her unfeigned arousal coated his fingers.

She came quietly, biting her lips while she squirmed and her back arched off the bed. Her chest was heaving when he crawled up to her, his lips sealing hers with the taste of her pussy on his lips; he felt a soft hum escape her lips, swallowed by his own.

„Off," she breathed between kisses and reached for the hem of his shirt, quickly trying to get rid of the fabric.

He leaned back on his heels, making quick work of his shirt, sliding off the bed to get out of his jeans while he was at it, finally freeing his painful hard-on and was hovering above her in no time. She felt his hard cock against her tummy, turning her head a little while he sucked the soft skin on her neck.

„I want you," she breathed against his shoulder. „Now."

He reached down between their bodies, brushing the tip of his cock through her slick folds before he positioned himself at her entrance. He looked at her in the semi darkness of their bedroom, didn't want to miss the way her features changed when he pushed inside of her. He slowly pulled out of her before he pushed back in and they reached a slow rhythm.

He knew it wouldn't be enough for her and he wanted her to be as close to him as possible. He sat back a little without pulling out of her again; grabbing her ankles he gently bent her knees and brought them up, almost touching her belly, before he leaned back into her.

She gasped at the sudden shift, whimpering softly when he pushed in deep, hitting the right spot. He brought his hands to her face, pulling her in for a messy kiss.

„Harder," she breathed between kisses. „Fuck me harder," she said and her hands wandered up and down his back as far as she could reach.

He knew that she wouldn't last long, he felt her walls tighten around his cock and she whimpered softly, still keeping most of her pleasure to herself but he would do what she had asked of him.

He shifted a little, his thrust becoming a little rougher and faster and soon there was nothing but the sound of their bodies crashing together mingled with the sound of their raging breaths, echoing through the bedroom.

„Look at me, Scully," he whispered against her lips and she finally turned her head, her eyes locking with Mulder's while he fucked her into oblivion at a steady pace.

When she finally turned her head to look at the man she loved, most of her doubts had slowly vanished along with any other coherent thought in her mind. She knew she was close, feeling slightly overwhelmed by all the sensations. Her hands dug into the skin of his back while he never ceased to thrust into her, keeping him as close as possible.

She cried out with pleasure and pain when the orgasm washed over her, shivering and squirming and Mulder followed soon after, collapsing on top of her. She slowly came down, wrapping her arms around him. The feeling of their naked skin against each other was utterly reassuring and it calmed her. She felt a little more relaxed than she had before, more like herself again.

They laid together for a little while, their heartbeats slowly returning to normal and she felt slightly chilled with the sweat slowly drying on her skin.

„I'm sorry I snapped at you," she whispered and he propped himself up on his elbow, hovering above her with a smile on his face.

His free hand brushed a few strands of hair out of her face, his thumb caressing the soft skin.

„You are so beautiful, Mrs Spooky," he whispered against her lips and she chuckled a little before he turned them on their sides, ready to call it a night.


End file.
